PURITY 101 – Build Your Specialty Team
All of these 101 tips come from chapters in my book 21-Day Purity Jumpstart. It is the foundational book for our ministry.
Your support team needs to be filled with three types of people:
- General support
- Specialty support
- Drill-Down support
These are people who help you with specific areas of purity and recovery – counselors, coaches, ministers, doctors and lawyers. They know your story and have special training and experience to assist you with specific areas. Specialty support is focused and fine-tuned to your individual needs.
Think about the aspects of your life: physical, emotional, spiritual, mental and relational. Your sexual struggles have affected each of these areas. There will be some (and maybe many) areas where you need specialty support.
Think of your specialty support people as private lesson teachers. I play trumpet and have taken lessons on many occasions. Early in my playing, I needed basic lessons. General lessons that may have applied to anyone. It didn’t take long for my private lessons to turn into specialty coaching sessions. My teacher would help me with issues I was having with a music piece by building my range or improving my tone.
- Physical – Sexual sin rewires our brain chemistry to seek sexual sin. I might need psychiatric help for this. If I have any type of disease or become an alcoholic or drug addict, I will need get some professional help from people who understand how to help resolve the issues of the body. Specialty support in this instance would include physicians, nutritionists, and exercise trainers.
- Emotional – The hurts of the past may be keeping me down. I need healing. Or I have a very difficult patch of pain I can’t work through. Your specialty support would be counselors, experienced leaders in the church, wise friends with experience, or maybe even counseling intensives.
- Spiritual – Many have “God questions” about their sexual sin. “Why would God allow this to happen?”, “Why did God make me this way?”, “How could God love me after the things I’ve done?” Ministers, Pastoral counselors, or wise spiritual people in your church would support you by providing answers to a lot of those questions you often find yourself thinking about.
- Mental – This is the intellectual side of our purity journey. We need to get education and wisdom from people who share similar stories. I need to find out what sexual addiction is and how it works. I need to expose my misunderstandings and correct the lies I believe about my struggles. Consulting book resources, viewing podcasts on purity, attending conferences, participating in workshops, purchasing helpful videos, and of course, browsing Puritycoaching.com are all support mechanisms that can be used for this aspect of your journey.
- Relational – My relationships are all shot up. It turns out I was a different person on the inside. Now those who are closest to me are hurting. Trust is broken. I need specialty people who can help me repair relationships. For some, they may have never had many good relationships. The coaching they need is in how to make friends and cultivate healthy relationships. They can receive the help they need from counselors, teachers, mediators and PurityCoaching.com.
- Legal – This is another person on our specialty support team we may not think about. If we have done something illegal or have serious questions about actions committed in our past, we need to seek legal advice. If we are facing a separation or divorce, we need legal counsel. If we have been a victim of a sexual crime, we will need to talk to the police and probably consult a lawyer.
Action Step: What about your Specialty Support team? Who’s helping you in these areas?
Q: Where are your gaps? What’s the next area you need to focus on to find specialty support?